Do you feel like you talk and talk but no one listens? These days, TV, radio, computers, and cell phones all clamor for our ever-shrinking attention span. Sometimes it’s hard to get your message across, but you can maximize your communication efforts. How well people listen to you actually may depend on how you talk to them. Notice how others react to you in conversation.

For example, do people seem disinterested while you are talking or interrupt you? If so, you might be coming across as critical or as a 'know-it-all', and listeners may be tuning you out. The next time you have a suggestion or some advice to offer, try offering it in a non-threatening manner. Preface your contribution to a conversation by stating: “I have a different take on this. Would you like to hear it?” Prepare your listener for an opposing opinion.

Communication styles have an impact on communication effectiveness. If you speak slowly and take a while to get to the point, you may lose some listeners as their attention starts to wander. On the other hand, if you speak quickly and get right to the point, you may fluster other listeners who like a more involved story. Try to take your speed cues from the way people speak to you. You may find that you need to customize your style to be heard.

Men and women have different ways of communicating and are often at odds with each other while doing so. Women often vent their feelings to let off steam and get a better perspective on a situation. When men (and even some women) hear a complaint, they feel pressure to try to fix the problem. Let your listener (male or female) know that you’re just blowing off steam and aren’t asking for a solution.

The golden rule is to be a good listener yourself. You can’t expect others to listen to you if they know you won’t return the favor.